Alphonse/Edmund: The one where they're furries

[ironysoul]

One hundred years in feline form, and now walking on two legs feels stilted. There was a knot between his shoulders that Al knew he could stretch out if he switched to fur. He could hunker down on his haunches and reach his front paws out far, sinking into a bow that would make every nodule of his spine pop. But while King Peter hadn't expressly banned fur, Al (and for that matter, the rest of the pride) still felt like it was something frowned upon now. Lesser, than their human form. At the very least that they should be grateful for it being restored.

He flexed paws (hands) and reminded himself again that his claws wouldn't unsheathe from the tips of his fingers. A hundred years in fur, and after almost a decade being able to change, he still felt wrong in this one.

At least, in the years since the age of winter, the pride had been restored to Cair Paravel. They'd served as stewards for generations, until Jadis had banished them. Not, Al was forced to admit, that he'd have been a particularly deft housekeeper with four paws. Maybe he could have dusted with his tail. The thought made him giggle.

Comments

PB Jelly time?

[just_edmund]

A tentative friendship after that fateful night on the beach between the ruler and steward had sprouted and blossomed, if not precisely flourished, but Edmund found himself no closer to actually breaking through Al's shell than he had been before that night. It seemed a truly impossible mission. He was just so...so impenetrable.

Not like the Terebinthian prince. Rythern had been pleasingly receptive to his attentions tonight, diplomatic in theory but highly negotiation-based in practice. If the exchange of heated glances and linked arms and brushing shoulders and hips could be called negotiation. It was nice to be desired, to not have to chase for naught.

The contrast was palpable as they strolled the deck of the Narnian ship on its slow course up the northern shore, arm in arm, the sun setting a riot of fiery colours behind them. Rythern's dark eyes kept straying to him. And ah, here was his sideways-glancing valet, assigned to him by Peter (the blighter!) who thought it quite fitting that Edmund be attended in proper form by one of his personal pride of stewards. It was the cruelest of jokes, really.

"Is all well, Al? Is my cabin set to rights?" He might be needing it soon...

so jelly

[ironysoul]

Oh. If steam could pour out Al's ears...

The thing was, the more time he spent with the young king of Narnia, the more Al found himself drawn to him. Edmund was warm, funny -- a good friend, above all, and those were characteristics that appealed to Al.

Appealed to him how, that was the question. He was still painfully aware of the differences between them. If Edmund were just a king, or just a beta, or even just a panther, maybe there would be some way. But Al had spent night after night dwelling on the issue, trying to square what he'd been taught with the man he saw before him. The pieces just... they didn't fit. There was a gap between them, too wide for Al to surmount. No matter what traitorous feelings swirled in his gut. And knowing, as he did, that Edmund didn't care about any of that... that he could probably have Edmund with a word...

So he tried the hardest he could to subdue his feelings, and focused on being an exceptional steward and valet to his friend (?). But it seemed the more time they spent together, the less Edmund saw of him, and the more he saw another ubiquitous steward. That connection, that spark of interest, from their first meeting, it was slowly melting away. And gone entirely now that this... this Terebinthian jerk had shown up.

If Al had a hair less emotional regulation, he'd be sullen. As it was, he was stewing, and fairly miserable. It was almost to the point where he was counting the days 'til Rythern's departure, when he could resume his normal duties. And hopefully never have to speak to Edmund again.

"Yes, highness."

Good gooooood

[just_edmund]

Edmund had no idea how close and simultaneously far he was to bonding with Al. He'd been glad for their growing friendship, unquestionably, but as far as he was concerned, Al just wasn't interested in anything more. There was no use bringing it up, really. Al knew how he felt. If anything changed, he was counting on Al to tell him. Otherwise, he had enough respect for the kind, honest man that he'd gotten to know to not push where he wasn't wanted.

Still, he knew enough of Al to know when something was off. He didn't know what but he had a sinking feeling it was something to do with Rythern. Edmund couldn't ignore the warning signs, just in case Al suspected something that could prove important, even deadly. Before he took the prince to his bed, surely it would be wise to hear out his steward for the evening.

"Pray excuse me," he said with a slow sweep of lashes along his cheek, glancing up at the tall honey-skinned prince on his arm, "but I must take my leave of you for a few moments, to attend to some business with my steward. I will make all haste to return to you. Do not stray far?"

He squeezed Rythern's arm, then released it and turned to take Al by the elbow, guiding him over to a corner of the ship behind the wings of the swan carved on her bows. "What's wrong?" he said under his breath, his eyes dark and intent on Al's face. "Is it the prince? What have you seen or heard?"

Re: Good gooooood

[ironysoul]

What could change? Edmund wasn't going to stop being a king. Nor would he become a lion, an omega. They weren't suited to each other. And no matter how strong Al's feelings for Edmund grew, that couldn't be overcome. As much as Al wanted to.

Still, Al was smart enough to realize he was being unreasonable. Why shouldn't Edmund find what he wanted with someone else? Never mind that Eythern was no more suitable a mate than Al himself. Edmund could make his own decision. He didn't need Al hovering over his shoulder.

Yet here Al was. Without a good reason for his poor attitude. He couldn't stop the words that were spilling out. "I think you're making a mistake with him, your majesty."

[just_edmund]

Maybe Edmund was being a little rash about this. He certainly didn't usually take a lover who wasn't Narnian so quickly. Maybe he secretly wanted to prove to Al that he wasn't a monk, that he wasn't hung up on him, that his romantic life went on even after being turned down so summarily by the stubborn alpha. Would he regret it later? Possibly. But if he was putting himself in danger that Al's sharp eyes had seen, he would certainly regret it if he didn't listen.

Which was why he took Al seriously now, with no thought that it could be jealousy fueling his advice, much as that notion would have pleased Edmund. He gave the steward a penetrating look. "Why do you think that? What sort of mistake?"

Of course, it was rather unusual to be asking a steward for his opinion on something as delicate as his choice in personal relationships. But Edmund did trust his judgment, as well as his powers of observation, and well, if they were going to be friends, that was the sort of thing friends talked about too, right?

[ironysoul]

Al had no doubts about Edmund's chastity -- or lack thereof. Really. No proof needed, majesty.

Still. Despite his conflicted emotions, he recognized how rare it was for a steward to be placed in this position. Even Queen Lucy, who unfailingly treated the palace staff as friends more than servants, didn't breach the bonds of familiarity like this. Edmund was addressing him as an equal. Not a valet, or a steward, or even a friend. As a partner. Al swallowed, forcing himself to remain even.

"The prince is here to form an alliance. Terebinthia and Narnia have long treated together, but it's not -- unheard of to secure that relationship with marriage. What if the prince were to treat for one of your sisters' hands? How could he, if you and he --" Al froze. He couldn't just straight out say it, could he? Even if he knew what Edmund was planning, and even if Edmund knew, then Edmund would know he knew, and --

"What I mean to say, your highness, is that a certain level of propriety is neccessary. When dealing with fellow sovereigns." And stewards. And in general.

And if Al hadn't just come off as sounding like even more of a stuffy stick-in-the-mud...

[just_edmund]

Edmund froze too. This was not what he'd expected to hear. It was not entirely unfounded, but still. Not the sort of counsel he wanted or anticipated when he asked Al's opinion. He supposed he had only himself to blame for inviting such critique in the first place.

Still. He felt badly used for his generosity in allowing Al the place of trusted friend and counselor. "You sound like Peter," he growled, brows furrowing into deep ruts of discontent. "You can't bear to see anybody else having a good time, so you have to try to squash it with talks of 'propriety' and royal behavior." It was distressing, Al taking this prudish tack the way his brother might have. Edmund didn't like it one bit. Maybe that was Peter's purpose in sending Al with him in the first place.

His voice dropped to a low rumble. "I believe it is the prince's business whom he treats for and whom he fraternizes with. My sisters are not shortchanged for suitors. I'm not stealing one of their betrothed. Why are you so concerned?" He regarded Al with a steely dark gaze, wishing he could change form and really complete the effect with a piercing Panther stare.

[ironysoul]

"That is not true!" Maybe Al did sound like Peter, but this was one of those rare times his reasoning was sound. He wasn't just having a knee-jerk reaction or trying to quash Edmund's fun, no matter what the young king thought. Of course, his motives might also not be quite as pure as he was pretending...

"Maybe because you're acting like an idiot!" The words were out before he could think better of them. For once Al wasn't speaking to Edmund the way he spoke to his king, but as he might to a brother and friend -- or something more. "You don't even care about him, you're just doing this to show you can! And you're going to make a fool of yourself and your sisters and maybe the whole country because you're stubborn?"

Almost immediately, what he was saying registered -- and true or not, Al went very pale. It wasn't like him to speak out of turn, even a little. And this was so far beyond the way he'd ever spoken to Edmund before. The king wouldn't be out of line having him punished. He certainly would never see his friend again (and maybe that was for the best.) Al swallowed hard, but didn't drop his gaze, keeping his eyes locked on Edmund evenly.

"I-- I'm sorry, your majesty. But I think you're being stubborn."

[just_edmund]

"Just because I can?"

Edmund felt like he'd just been slapped. For a moment he couldn't even truly fathom how Al was speaking to him. No one spoke to him that way except his siblings. What had Al done to earn himself such impunity of forwardness? He drew in a sharp breath, and blood rushed to his face with the riotous emotion that was outrage and denial and frustrated longing all at once.

He could have slugged Al for it. He could have delivered another scathing retort or furious decree. Could have called the guards on him, or left him right then and there to watch him take his revenge with the prince.

Instead, he did something much more rash and dangerous. He surged forward, grabbed the back of Al's neck, and pulled him in for a sudden, searing kiss.

His lips were hot against Al's, flushed red like his cheeks with the zeal of his passion. Even his hand on the nape of Al's neck was warm, possessive, holding him against Edmund as he kissed him. He'd remember it later, the heat that flared deep in his own body at the touch of Al's against him, and the way he wanted to press close and wind himself around the tall alpha and bury his face in the golden mane of hair. Smelling and tasting him all at once was driving his senses mad. Everything about Al felt so right.

It might have been a few seconds or a great many; it was simply too soon when he finally parted and let go, almost gasping for air. There was nothing he could even say, no explanations he could give for his behavior. It had been the pure impulse of the moment, and now all he could do was wait for the fallout.

[ironysoul]

Al stood frozen for a long minute, his eyes widening as the King came at him. But instead of Edmund's fists connecting with his stomach (which, maybe he would have deserved) a warm heat flared in his belly as Edmund fit their bodies together and kissed him. He responded more on instinct than out of desire, pressing Edmund's mouth open with his own.

Al's hands fluttered at his sides, eventually coming to rest on Edmund's shoulders. But he couldn't bring himself to push the king away. Whatever Edmund felt, pressed against him and still trying to climb closer, the alpha in Al responded. It would be easy and natural to push Edmund against the wall and crowd over him, regardless of who on the ship was watching. He could show that jerk prince whose mate he was messing with --

But Edmund wasn't his mate, and couldn't be. Remembering that was like a splash of ice water, startling Al from his thoughts and bringing him back. His fingers tightened on Edmund's shoulders, shaking, and he gave a weak push against the king.

"E-Edmund..."

[just_edmund]

Edmund whined, a soft pleading sound that did not seem to come from his conscious self at all but from his deeper instincts that knew exactly what he should have: the alpha right before him, those hands digging into his shoulders, the lips that had swept his open as if they were his due, the taste of Al's tongue in his mouth. He didn't want it to stop there. His body fairly thrummed with all the possibilities, each lewder than the next.

But that was what had scared Al off in the first place, he'd surmised. Coming on too strong, leading with sex. Al just wasn't that sort of fellow. And simply telling himself that he didn't want it didn't appear to be doing any good, between his natural attraction to Al and the crazy pheromones between them.

His fingers slid up the back of Al's neck to curl in his hair. "Been wanting to do that for weeks. Al...is this..."

He meant to finish it, okay?, but in the prolonged closeness, his blood gave another insistent thrum within him, and his hips turned a beseeching rub Al's way. Unlike an omega, he didn't have this reaction in the mere presence of an alpha during heats, but physical contact definitely did the trick. He tugged at Al's hair. They could continue this in his cabin...he'd send word with some excuse to the prince... he just couldn't bear for this to end so soon.

[ironysoul]

It wasn't just coming on too strong. It was cultural expectations that Edmund couldn't begin to grasp, questions and fears that Al was so burdened down by...

But at the same time, Edmund felt so good, wrapping himself around Al, clinging to him like this. Al knew how easy it would be for him to tip one or both of them into heat, and that was the last thing they needed happening on this ship, but a part of him wanted to take advantage of what Edmund was offering. He'd said it himself; he'd been wanting for weeks. No one would blame Al --

But he was not going to be one of those Alphas ruled by base instinct. He knew all the reasons he and Edmund couldn't be together, even if Edmund didn't, and taking advantage of Edmund in a moment like this would just be despicable. Besides, they were barely out of sight, still on the deck of the ship, and if Edmund regretted this later... why wouldn't he... there was no question whose side the many, many potential witnesses would come down on.

Twisted with grief and want, Al moved away from Edmund's rocking hips, steadying himself. "Stop it, Edmund! You need to -- we can't do this."

[just_edmund]

The problem with having just a taste of Al was that now he wanted more, and not having him was going to be physically painful. His longing would be his weakness. Edmund knew this was a major reason that sovereigns were usually alphas; it was just less dangerous that way. He was vulnerable, a strange position for a King to be in. But he was still asking for Al to accept even a portion of what he offered.

The distance between them was as shocking as a blast of cold water to his senses. He didn't know which was more painful, the physical separation or the words, telling him unequivocally - stop.

Edmund stopped.

His body was tense with the effort of holding himself away, the strain of his urges making him almost hunch into himself as he let go of Al and took a step back. "I...I thought..." He hadn't been thinking at all. Just acting on instinct, and hoping that it would pay off when Al felt the connection between them. Edmund couldn't have been the only one that felt it.

Could he?

He bit his lip, hard, and his eyes pleaded with Al. "What am I supposed to do, then?" His voice was low and rough. "I want you. I don't want to take someone else to bed just to sate that hunger. But it's so bloody hard, being alone..."

[ironysoul]

Edmund wasn't the only one. But how was Al supposed to acknowledge something like that? There were so many differences between them, so many things that stood in the way. He couldn't just ignore the vast crevasses that lay between them, socially and -- otherwise. He'd never heard of someone mating outside their species, even when there wasn't a crisis like the lions were facing now. It just wasn't done. It was totally taboo, and while Al was willing to transgress boundaries to a point, something like what Edmund was asking him for...

"You don't. You just want the idea of me, your majesty." Al closed his eyes and drew in an unsteady breath. he wasn't sure entirely how true that was. It certainly sounded plausible. And it was easier than facing the reality. He wanted Edmund too. He felt something, a connection between them, that he was working hard to deny. But it was there. And every time Edmund lampshaded it, instead of just -- ignoring this, whatever it was, and going about his life -- it made things so much harder.

"We can't be together. You know that."

[just_edmund]

Those kinds of rules just weren't important to Edmund. If Al thought it was all right, the opinion of anybody else wouldn't have made a lick of difference to the defiant King. Wasn't that one of the perks of being King? You got to make the rules? He was sure Lucy and maybe even Susan would be willing to make an exception if he was truly in love with someone. Not that Al would even let him get close enough to fall in love...but his nose didn't lie, everything about this alpha was just so right.

Everything except the part where, you know. He didn't want to be with Edmund.

"Because of course you know my deepest hopes and dreams," the King replied with heavy sarcasm. He didn't like at all being told that his fancy could be turned to any suitable candidate. Sex, yes. But Al was the first person in a very long while who had piqued his other interests.

Edmund's brows darkened into heavy furrows. "Yes. We can't be together because you do not wish it. That is the only reason that matters. I am sorry for troubling you any further." He stepped back. "You are relieved of your personal duties to me; Metan can attend to me while on board." He could find no other words that wouldn't reveal his own twice-hurt feelings or potentially hurt Al's, so he simply turned and strode towards his cabin. Al wouldn't know he was curling up in his oversized bunk perfect for two, wallowing in the rejection and the stew of hormones that kiss had left in its wake.

Damn that stubborn lion. Damn him.

[ironysoul]

Edmund said Al didn't understand. But he was just as mistaken if he thought Al didn't want him in return, or have the same sense of rightness when he was with the king. If it weren't for the pressures of his pack and society following them both, Al couldn't imagine wanting anyone else. Even, maybe, if Edmund were any other pack. But a Panther -- he would never be accepted by the pack. And they looked to Al, one of the few remaining alphas, for leadership and guidance. To say nothing of his responsibility to the next generation...

But he wanted Edmund just as badly. And if Edmund thought he didn't, or thought it didn't hurt to watch Edmund walk away from him, the prince trailing after... He couldn't find any comfort in throwing up barrier after barrier, watching Edmund run head long into them. He was just as lonely, just as miserable, returning to his own berth on the ship. Not far from Edmund's, as he was expected to be ready to serve him.

Al curled himself into his own ball of misery, tucking himself into the corner of the bunk. He had no right to expect anything else from Edmund. If they couldn't even be friendly with each other, it was his own fault.