Alphonse/Edmund: The one where they're furries

[ironysoul]

One hundred years in feline form, and now walking on two legs feels stilted. There was a knot between his shoulders that Al knew he could stretch out if he switched to fur. He could hunker down on his haunches and reach his front paws out far, sinking into a bow that would make every nodule of his spine pop. But while King Peter hadn't expressly banned fur, Al (and for that matter, the rest of the pride) still felt like it was something frowned upon now. Lesser, than their human form. At the very least that they should be grateful for it being restored.

He flexed paws (hands) and reminded himself again that his claws wouldn't unsheathe from the tips of his fingers. A hundred years in fur, and after almost a decade being able to change, he still felt wrong in this one.

At least, in the years since the age of winter, the pride had been restored to Cair Paravel. They'd served as stewards for generations, until Jadis had banished them. Not, Al was forced to admit, that he'd have been a particularly deft housekeeper with four paws. Maybe he could have dusted with his tail. The thought made him giggle.

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[ironysoul]

Edmund said Al didn't understand. But he was just as mistaken if he thought Al didn't want him in return, or have the same sense of rightness when he was with the king. If it weren't for the pressures of his pack and society following them both, Al couldn't imagine wanting anyone else. Even, maybe, if Edmund were any other pack. But a Panther -- he would never be accepted by the pack. And they looked to Al, one of the few remaining alphas, for leadership and guidance. To say nothing of his responsibility to the next generation...

But he wanted Edmund just as badly. And if Edmund thought he didn't, or thought it didn't hurt to watch Edmund walk away from him, the prince trailing after... He couldn't find any comfort in throwing up barrier after barrier, watching Edmund run head long into them. He was just as lonely, just as miserable, returning to his own berth on the ship. Not far from Edmund's, as he was expected to be ready to serve him.

Al curled himself into his own ball of misery, tucking himself into the corner of the bunk. He had no right to expect anything else from Edmund. If they couldn't even be friendly with each other, it was his own fault.