RL for Greed;

[ironysoul]

Al had asked for a worldhop on the community. He'd told both Ed and Winry that he was going to Lior, but he could feel the pressure and anger growing inside him. He didn't want to explode again at his father -- Hohenheim was one of the only people left who wasn't pissed at him for something. And he didn't want to be that easy to find.

So instead, he had his ride take him to Dublith. He wove his way through the city streets, passing Sensei's home and the butcher shop, until he made his way to a very familiar bar.

This time of night, even the heaviest drinkers had retired, so Al moved through the darkened bar and into a shadowy corner. There he crouched, his hands resting on his knees, and he waited for some unsuspecting victim -- preferably the homonculus -- to make an appearance.

Comments

[material_guy]

Watching the head knocked from the armor's form, letting the annoyance fade only slightly from his features, vindicated, he took the initial lurch to be the armor losing its balance without the soul connected to control it. This Greed wasn't entirely aware of how, exactly, the bloodseal worked. He put out a hand absently on Al's chest, to keep the husk from collapsing noisily and waking anybody up, expecting to be talking now to the dismembered head on the floor. "I---"

And then the voice was coming from the headless armor. Which was moving. "---Geh?! What... the..."

Greed pointed to Al. Greed pointed to Al's head. Greed pointed back to Al.

Finally understanding, he nodded, keeping his finger pointed at the actual base, where the other did indeed sit, however headless.

"That's right. That array's right there, which means..."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Yup. Al could "see", and move, without his head. Sighing in disgust, he stalked over to grab his head, setting it firmly back on his shoulders.

"You know, Mr. Homonculus, it's not very polite to knock someone's head off." There was a particularly passive aggressive tone that only Al could master -- but my, did he do a good job with it.

Strangely, he wasn't quite angry enough to punch back. Maybe that had helped focus him.

[material_guy]

"It's fine since you ain't using it." Greed wasn't sure if he meant that he wasn't using his head figuratively or literally as if seemed he has no real need of it to function, either. Maybe he was making a pun. Unintentionally witty? He'd believe it of himself.

Still, he had a point to make. Snorting and taking up his drink again, he clarified: "Think a little bit and I won't have to do that shit.

If you're not gonna give me even what you know on immortality so far, you're just an idiotic eye soar like this. Smart up or scram."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"Oh, it figures," Al spat, crossing his arms. "I forgot. Since you're best friends with Brother now, of course you'd take his side."

But the irony wasn't lost on him. He'd just told Greed about he was too troublesome for anyone to want him around, and here the Homonculus was, telling him to get out. The armor hesitated, then made a sound that Greed probably hadn't heard before. It started as a quiet keen, but gained volume as it reverberated inside the empty shell of his body. Al might not have tear ducts or excess moisture in his body, but his soul could still cry.

"I'm going to die. Probably in a few more months, a-and everyone's forgotten about me."

[material_guy]

"Who's taking his side?" Greed mumbled into his drink. Amittedly, finding out the kid hated Hohenheim had been instant endearment, and he was still baffled as to why the runt would really come right on over, no questions asked, to make himself useful, but if the Greed in their world was awesome enough that he himself could benefit from it, he wasn't going to go out of his way to break that association.

Then there was this uncooperative, uncute kid. Amethyst eyes darted over in a privately distasteful glare, when the unnaturally strained, miserable tone broke out like the armor was an iron maiden with an unfortunate young boy inside rather than the boy himself. Distaste turned to awkwardness.

He looked past the bar as if expecting the bar keep to still be there, to make her handle this. No luck. He looked left. He looked right.


As Al spoke, he twisted in his chair, looking hopelessly around the rest of the deserted bar for someone else to make deal with this, or to at least be his backup, before reluctantly looking at the sobbing suit in front of him.

He finished his drink in a single swallow.

People in a fit liked to elaborate. If he just sat there and shut up, maybe the kid would explain himself, try to rationalize his weird unloved delusions, and realize how messed up and nonsensical they were. If he just had to be a sounding board, he could at least manage that. Probably.

Ahhh, he needed a stiffer drink.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Nope. Sorry, Greed, no luck. Al just continued sobbing quietly, pulling his knees up. It wasn't nonsensical to Al. Ed and Winry were so caught up in each other that even Winry, who had seen him pass out so many times, wasn't figuring it out. Naoto... well, Al thought she cared, but after the fights with Ed she'd been so consumed in her guilt that she'd given him the brush off, and there'd gone his last ally.

And as for Ed himself... "H-he told me that I should just wait until after the promised day. B-because I'm such an inconvenience to him, having emotions when I'm actually alive."

[material_guy]

Greed groaned, "Don't make me hit you again."

Bar tenders who dealt with this shit at least got tips. Or at least paid for the drinks. Alphonse couldn't drink. This was a thankless misery.

"This Promised Day thing is gonna be a fight, right? It ain't that yer inconvenient; it's that that body's convenient. For fighting, for himself, for yourself, for everyone who gives a shit about you. Which is a lot of..." He paused, drummed his fingers on the bar top, then reworded. "Which is at least three people. And one who fakes it, but fuck him.

But about those other three... how the hell's it gonna make 'em feel if you get yer body back and then go and die in a few... weeks? Months? Whenever the hell this Promised Day is. If you die in that fight, when yer in that immortal perfect little battle tank of a body, they're gonna think they really lost you just 'cause they had to be selfish and have you in a normal body right away. In that body, you can't die in a fight.

But you want yer normal body back now, right? It's inconvenient like that, at least you think so. It's what you guys've been after for a while." He did remember a post made almost a year ago, before he had even known the two or what kind of useful secrets they had; the stupid runt had been saying something stupid back then, about how he couldn't take the time to have friends, because he had to devote himself to something or another with his little brother. It was something so stupid Greed didn't even know him and thought he needed a punch about as bad as Alphonse had just moments ago.

Damn it, why did all the stupid geniuses gravitate to him...?

"So, shit, he's probably feeling like shit for holding out and making you wait 'cause it's practical. He's not a practical kinda guy at all. Another one of those damned alchemy-genius, everything else-stupid fuckers. S'like when you're training a dog and you gotta punish 'em. Some people feel bad about smackin' the thing on the nose or whatever, when it gets all sulky and shoves its tail between its legs."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Greed didn't get it. Al shook his head.

"Not -- not wanting my body back. Because of my 'stupid adolescent rebellion.'" Al didn't have breath, but if he did, it would be ragged and uneven. It was a little strange to have his voice continue so smoothly even as the sobbing sounds continued. "That's what he calls wanting to be with my family. O-or having feelings."

After a long moment, Al stood. "You don't understand, Mr. Homonculus. My soul has already been recalled to the gate once. I fought to stay because -- because Brother needs me in this body, just like you said. And if I thought by dying I could foil your family's plans, I would, but they'd just force another sacrifice. I'll stay until the Promised Day, to fight, but after that I'll just stop. Stop everything."

He kicked a chair with enough force to send it across the floor in several different directions. Whatever; he'd fix it later. Besides, it wasn't like they'd never wrecked the Devil's Nest before. "But... I think Dad knows. He's seen -- and he's smart enough to understand what's going on. But the rest of them don't even... notice. They don't notice if I'm there or not."

[material_guy]

Ah, damn it, it was annoying!! The stupid brat came charging in here sobbing at him, when the last two times he came they were to fight with him, or to engage in a fight where he probably didn't give two shits whether Greed lived or died in mutually mortal combat! And then he had the balls to chew him out for not getting it when it was some personal, touchy feely family thing between them! How the hell was he supposed to know about--no, why the hell was he even supposed to care?!

Damn it, praising his dad as the smartest of the bunch and looking up to him like that was only making it even more annoying.

But if Alphonse already drew the straw to play the fussy, moody little bastard, he supposed he had to temper that. He bit back a comment about how at least one of his family members was a worthless pile of shit, tapping his fingers again, watching the boy have his temper tantrum.

It was a violent bar during business hours. It didn't even occur to him at the moment that it'd have to be fixed. He was too busy forcing himself to deal with a kid as an adult. It was a lot more fun when someone was being childish and he could play at their level, but he didn't like this brat enough for that.

"Maybe you're having stupid feelings. People's feelings can be real annoying. Even people you like! You got a hot headed, snap judgment, emotional fit of a stupid love-lorn, sappy, romantic brother. You oughtta know how annoying people's feelings can be."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al actually stopped to consider that, but he shook his head.

"How are my feelings stupid. All I want is to be with them in the time I have left... but they're all busy with other things." Maybe Greed thought he was being stupid, but that was really how it seemed to Al -- especially when everyone was coupled off, now, and it was automatically Ed-and-Winry against him.

Stupid Ed and Winry. He got why his Brother was ignoring him for her, because... well, sex, and don't get him started on the jealousy issues that was raising, but where did she get off telling him what he was and wasn't allowed to say to his own brother?

"I know they've got other things, and those are important too, but... They really are ignoring me. Brother especially. And I'm alone all the time." Al kicked another chair, just because. He was alone all the time -- especially overnight, when the others could sleep, and calm their feelings and reset their bodies. For him, it just all kept building.

[material_guy]

Without knowing the situation, he continued to glower; how could he explain how someone's feelings were stupid when they didn't even make enough sense to start with to find the holes in them!

That thought only became harder to swallow when Alphonse gave what was, to Greed, his first legitimate, coherent complaint of the evening. Still annoyed at the situation, he wanted to tell him to stop needing so damned much attention, if he felt ignored, but just as he bit back the urge to rail on That Fucker Hohenheim, he bit back what would have only been an emotional response on his end. He wasn't invested enough in that foursome of a family to let himself get that worked up, and if he couldn't put up with a crying kid at least a little bit, what kind of Nice Guy would that make him?

Greed had a hard time recalling more than two or three conversations with the older brother that didn't go back around to his girlfriend, or the fact that she wasn't his girlfriend. Even if he got stupid over his younger brother from time to time, that might just be general stupidity. That kid had a lot of that, too, even if it was a little charming when directed towards one's self.

Hell, maybe he really was being ignored. He didn't know the mechanic or the detective well enough to even guess what the hell the problem was there, so that meant for now he'd have to go with this kid's judgment on the situation.

With a sigh, the annoyance stiffening his features softened. It wasn't exactly a friendly, welcoming expression, but the urge to smack him again was gone.

"So. What's this 'other stuff' that you can't be involved in? Since you're all one big happy family or whatever."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al gave the homunculus a significant look. After all, they were discussing Ed and Winry as a couple; it stood to reason that these activities were sexual, or at least romantic, in nature.

But he said, "Everything... To start with, I'm unreasonable for expecting him to behave like a human being. And I used to be able to count on Winry to take Ed down a peg when he was being a brat, but now she just defends him blindly. And she has to have her nose in everything, and she wants to filter everything that reaches him by her standards, even if you're just suggesting he behave like a responsible adult and not him. But he's being a manipulative jerk, throwing tantrums and running off into the snow to freeze to death, and even Naoto is tiptoing around him because he's so 'sensitive.' Not to mention he screams at me if I'm even a little bit critical, like I'm the badguy for not taking care of his girlfriend when HE takes off in the middle of the night. So no one will talk to me, because I'm the mean one who doesn't baby Brother's precious ego."

Maybe that was the harshest, least charitable interpretation of his family's actions, but to Al, approaching death and left outside of the family, that was how it seemed. Just thinking about it, he was getting mad again.

[material_guy]

To Greed's credit, Al hadn't said a word about their relationship outloud, and while Greed was constantly thinking about activities sexual in nature, he'd been chided enough for it to suppose not everyone shared in his proclivities.

...That said he did break into an understanding grin the instant the two names were mentioned together as if in some sort of cohesion against him.

Valid points all though they were, Greed was still Greed. Resting his chin on his hand and still wearing that toothy, cocky, lecherous grin, he redirected the topic slightly.

"Naaa. It was a while back but... didn't you used to have a crush on her, too?"

He had remembered a post, again before he had known the two to be such useful samples, in which it had been mused that his brother and someone, then unknown to Greed, were destined to get married, and all that fluffy forever romantic stuff. Greed's hand moved to Al's back, giving a solid pat as he leaned in conspiratorially close.

"You sure it's got nothin' to do with that kinda jealousy, kiddo?"

It probably didn't. But, it was a shot he had to take, a joke that needed to be made at his expense. Alphonse surely didn't come to Greed to be pampered, after all.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"H-hey!!" Actually, some pampering was exactly why Al was here. Everyone at home had made it clear that his fears were insignificant, so who else was he meant to go to? If he'd been a cat, Greed's barb would have made him hiss and arch his back. But he shook it off fairly quickly, falling back against the wall.

"Not really... This body... I don't have any hormones forthe physical part, and I've never felt passion or desire, or... Or anything like that. Winry... It was easier just to fabricate those feelings. I didn't really want her, I just wanted to feel like a normal boy."

He was really running the emotional gamut as he swung back to near tears.

[material_guy]

Coming to Greed to be pampered was like asking a wolf to guard your sheep; a bit of a bloody mess and a smug grin were important tools in teaching a life lesson.

"You're the type I'd expect to be all into the 'Love doesn't mean dirty things!' shit." Greed shrugged theatrically. "Well, I don't bed anyone I'd like enough to miss if they got busy with somethin' else for the rest of their lives.

But, feelings ain't thinking things. If you think you made the feelings up, they're still real once they're there. Maybe you fabricated bein' over 'em 'cause it was a lost cause."

But, convincing him he loved his brother's obsession wouldn't help things. How was he supposed to deal with an issue that couldn't be solved by saying 'ah, just go fuck something!' ?


"...Well." He cleared his throat, deciding to give it another try. "Maybe yer not normal. Why don'tcha just worry about actin' natural instead of normal, then? I don't think it'd be 'cause yer in that body or anything, but if it is what it is, you oughtta just go with it. So if you're really pissed off, you should just go up to your brother and smack him!"

Greed gave a good empty swing to the air, followed by a nod, as if confirming it was the right course of action by how his shadow boxing punch had felt.

"Expressing too many feelings in words... it comes off like an adolescent tantrum or whatever whoever called it. It's too objective to someone else. You gotta make 'em see it as somethin' real, not somethin' to just take apart or talk about. Since at least one of 'em's a guy, that's an option! You're not in real trouble 'till you start havin' girl problems!"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al listened to Greed. If he had eyebrows or a hairline, they'd be meeting right now.

"That's your best advice? Go beat up Brother?" It seemed unlikely to Al that that would do anything other than infuriate the other boy.

"I am upset about being in this body, but it doesn't matter any more. It's only a few more months till the Promised Day. That's what's important. We have to focus on that."

He sighed, scuffing the floor with his feet as his mind jumped back to an earlier issue. "Besides... Love doesn't just mean having sex, but... would you want to be with someone who didn't have those feelings?"

[material_guy]

"He's not takin' you seriously, right? It's not like you're a violent guy, so sometimes you need to do somethin' to let people know yer not just runnin' yer mouth, to make 'em think of it like a real problem like it is for you instead of some.... hypothetical thing. Unless your relationship's really completely ruined, you can still talk with fists."

Greed considered himself more social than most, but with a relationship as ambiguous as the one he had with the Elrics, deciding how to go about handling problems that really had no value to him was difficult. He said to make it something not so hypothetical, but this was all one big thought exercise where the outcome couldn't possibly matter less to him.

Their lack of connection was made obvious by that last question.

"Oi. Didn't I just say it? I don't wanna have sex with anyone who's gonna have 'those feelings' at me. And if they got 'those feelings' at anyone else, it ain't somethin' I care about or wanna hear about."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

They definitely weren't connecting, on any level. Al could see that, especially since he was talking about sexual feelings, and Greed was talking about romantic feelings. Even if he was capable of romantic love, who would want someone who didn't have any interest in sex? Even Brother and Winry were doing it, after dancing around each other for so long. Couldn't seem to stop doing it.

So he let it go. Thinking about Greed's relationships with anyone was enough to make his non-existent stomach roil.

"I'm not going to beat up Brother. That's just stupid. We'll fight even more. I'm going to talk to the girls." He might as well -- explain to them what was happening to him, and maybe they'd be a little more understanding. He paused, then added reflectively, "You know, this is why your plans never work."

Swore I responded to this! Sorry for the delay.

[material_guy]

"You might not have to beat him up," Greed insisted, blithely missing the point. "One punch might do it."

Still, if the kid had decided he wanted to just talk it out straightly, which he was either too stupid to think of before or had failed before, Greed saw no reason to push his own unwanted advice. Hell, the kid knew his situation and targets better, maybe his own tactic was best. Not his problem. Didn't know. Didn't care. Why he didn't just go talk to the girls in the first place if that was his best idea was a mystery, but he was prepared to think nothing more of it, and to even let a reflective snipe roll off of his back, if it meant getting the uppity self righteous and increasingly useless, over sized kid off his back. If he went to talk it out, maybe they'd research a little harder, perfect their own technique! Then he'd just be an uppity self righteous oversized kid without the useless bit!

But if he was really going to let him go without a kidnapping, he considered his Nice Guy limits already being pushed. Even with the obvious drive for them to improve it on their own if left to their own devices. To come in taunting with immortality was something he would only put up with because the kid was having some end-of-times death based breakdown.

After a long, thoughtful silence, Greed waved dismissively. "My plans usually work. But, more importantly... you gonna fix the shit you broke?"

Greed would offer him the chance, at least. As an example of how well (he thought that) his plans usually worked.

No big!

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

With a fluid shrug, Al clapped his hands together and pressed them to the floor. One transmutation, two new, shiny chairs.

You'd better not try anything funny, Mr. Homonculus! He came here to complain, but he still didn't trust the other man. Uh, creature. He was ready for any move against him as he picked up his phone to call for a ride.

"Thank you for listening to me."

[material_guy]

Greed gave the chair a nudge with his foot, then shrugged, satisfied and giving yet another dismissive motion. "Next time you're gonna eat up my time, at least buy somethin'. Bar tenders don't really make their money for mixing drinks."

There didn't seem to be any intent to attack or restrain him, but perhaps he wanted him to let his brother or his ride know where he was first, to save him the trouble of trying to make yet another accidentally unlocked kidnap notification post. His ability with technology left something to be desired.

That would be a paranoid, but justified, thought.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"I can't drink," he reminded the homonculus, rolling his eyes. "You know, I can't drink and I can't have sex. Immortality or not, you'd really hate this body..."

He didn't trust Homonculi, and he never would. He and Envy were going to have fun working that out in post canon.

But for now, he sat quietly against a wall, his device in hand and his eyes open. Especially since he'd made sure his family couldn't find him....

[material_guy]

"That's why I'm saying to buy something anyway. You don't pay a bartender for the drinks, you pay 'em to listen to your ass. Didn't I just say that?"

Despite a golden opportunity at what he'd tried and threatened to do several times over, Greed seemed to have fallen into a relaxed slouch in his chair, sipping and passing the time idly with empty conversation. "Drinking's a double dull edged sword, anyway. S'a social thing... 'n if the body can't want it, m'not gonna miss the sex. I can still get what I want out of it, with or without feelin' it."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al rolled his eyes again. "Mr. Homonculus, are you asking for a tip?"

...Maybe golden. Al would kick his ass if he tried, which would put a bit of a damper on things. But the other...

"This body isn't immortal or even invincible, and you can't do any of your favorite things in it. Well, except fight. Why do you want it so much?"

[material_guy]

With yet another bland stare, as if Al had asked a supremely stupid question that wasn't worth the breath of a real answer, he fielded both hanging questions with a single response: "Who do you think I am?"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he'd realized it was a stupid question as he'd asked it.

"I know you want everything, but this body.... it's not worth it."

[material_guy]

"You can say that right now 'cause you think of it like some kinda time bomb," Greed insisted, blithely ignoring the fact that the boy had spent years trying to return to his human body before knowing a time limit or end was drawing near. After all, it was perfectly possible to hop into a body, to only have to worry about the rotting as some kind of biological break down--and metal didn't have to deal with the same biological cycle as naturally living things. It was hardly his fault they hadn't done it right. He'd SEEN it done right... why she kept choosing a flesh and blood body, he'd pretend not to know.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"I've always said that."

Al crossed his arms. "Having your soul and body split in two... You never feel right. There's always something missing."

[material_guy]

Greed meant always wanting something else, that something was always missing. Even if he could sympathize with that sensation it was something that couldn't be compared; that gap had to be smaller than the one of his own level of greed. If Greed's answer seemed to come after a slight pause, he'd insist that it was all in Al's imagination.

"Lotsa people feel that way in their own bodies. It's called puberty or existentialism or angst or something."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al slumped against the wall.

"No wonder you and Brother get along so well. It would just kill you to admit I might have a point, wouldn't it?"

[material_guy]

"Oi, oi. Didn't I let it go that maybe they're really treatin' you like shit instead of it bein' in your head? I can't think of your big Happy Family doin' that to you, but, shit, I don't get the whole family thing or whatever your relationships are anyway, and you're the one in that situation so I'll leave it to you to have a better idea what's goin' on and what to do about it. Even if you're already not handlin' it right.

You're the one not gettin' that you don't get me. You don't really get my kinda greed, 'n you don't got a reason to try to, but assumin' I don't know what I want... that's about the same as writing you off as havin' a childish tantrum, ain't it?"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"Okay." Honestly, it wasn't worth it to argue with Al. What did he care if the homonculus was hellbent on pursuing this path. He stood when his ride arrived and ducked a quick bow.

"Thank you for listening to me, Mr. Homonculus."

[material_guy]

And still no tip. After taunting him with the brink of immortality, not leaving a tip would have been grounds to recycle the tin can. At the very least, Greed was certain that having his time eaten for nothing, and not kidnapping him, meant that he was freed of any obligation to return such warm words as a 'you're welcome'.