RL for Greed;

[ironysoul]

Al had asked for a worldhop on the community. He'd told both Ed and Winry that he was going to Lior, but he could feel the pressure and anger growing inside him. He didn't want to explode again at his father -- Hohenheim was one of the only people left who wasn't pissed at him for something. And he didn't want to be that easy to find.

So instead, he had his ride take him to Dublith. He wove his way through the city streets, passing Sensei's home and the butcher shop, until he made his way to a very familiar bar.

This time of night, even the heaviest drinkers had retired, so Al moved through the darkened bar and into a shadowy corner. There he crouched, his hands resting on his knees, and he waited for some unsuspecting victim -- preferably the homonculus -- to make an appearance.

Comments

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al gave the homunculus a significant look. After all, they were discussing Ed and Winry as a couple; it stood to reason that these activities were sexual, or at least romantic, in nature.

But he said, "Everything... To start with, I'm unreasonable for expecting him to behave like a human being. And I used to be able to count on Winry to take Ed down a peg when he was being a brat, but now she just defends him blindly. And she has to have her nose in everything, and she wants to filter everything that reaches him by her standards, even if you're just suggesting he behave like a responsible adult and not him. But he's being a manipulative jerk, throwing tantrums and running off into the snow to freeze to death, and even Naoto is tiptoing around him because he's so 'sensitive.' Not to mention he screams at me if I'm even a little bit critical, like I'm the badguy for not taking care of his girlfriend when HE takes off in the middle of the night. So no one will talk to me, because I'm the mean one who doesn't baby Brother's precious ego."

Maybe that was the harshest, least charitable interpretation of his family's actions, but to Al, approaching death and left outside of the family, that was how it seemed. Just thinking about it, he was getting mad again.

[material_guy]

To Greed's credit, Al hadn't said a word about their relationship outloud, and while Greed was constantly thinking about activities sexual in nature, he'd been chided enough for it to suppose not everyone shared in his proclivities.

...That said he did break into an understanding grin the instant the two names were mentioned together as if in some sort of cohesion against him.

Valid points all though they were, Greed was still Greed. Resting his chin on his hand and still wearing that toothy, cocky, lecherous grin, he redirected the topic slightly.

"Naaa. It was a while back but... didn't you used to have a crush on her, too?"

He had remembered a post, again before he had known the two to be such useful samples, in which it had been mused that his brother and someone, then unknown to Greed, were destined to get married, and all that fluffy forever romantic stuff. Greed's hand moved to Al's back, giving a solid pat as he leaned in conspiratorially close.

"You sure it's got nothin' to do with that kinda jealousy, kiddo?"

It probably didn't. But, it was a shot he had to take, a joke that needed to be made at his expense. Alphonse surely didn't come to Greed to be pampered, after all.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"H-hey!!" Actually, some pampering was exactly why Al was here. Everyone at home had made it clear that his fears were insignificant, so who else was he meant to go to? If he'd been a cat, Greed's barb would have made him hiss and arch his back. But he shook it off fairly quickly, falling back against the wall.

"Not really... This body... I don't have any hormones forthe physical part, and I've never felt passion or desire, or... Or anything like that. Winry... It was easier just to fabricate those feelings. I didn't really want her, I just wanted to feel like a normal boy."

He was really running the emotional gamut as he swung back to near tears.

[material_guy]

Coming to Greed to be pampered was like asking a wolf to guard your sheep; a bit of a bloody mess and a smug grin were important tools in teaching a life lesson.

"You're the type I'd expect to be all into the 'Love doesn't mean dirty things!' shit." Greed shrugged theatrically. "Well, I don't bed anyone I'd like enough to miss if they got busy with somethin' else for the rest of their lives.

But, feelings ain't thinking things. If you think you made the feelings up, they're still real once they're there. Maybe you fabricated bein' over 'em 'cause it was a lost cause."

But, convincing him he loved his brother's obsession wouldn't help things. How was he supposed to deal with an issue that couldn't be solved by saying 'ah, just go fuck something!' ?


"...Well." He cleared his throat, deciding to give it another try. "Maybe yer not normal. Why don'tcha just worry about actin' natural instead of normal, then? I don't think it'd be 'cause yer in that body or anything, but if it is what it is, you oughtta just go with it. So if you're really pissed off, you should just go up to your brother and smack him!"

Greed gave a good empty swing to the air, followed by a nod, as if confirming it was the right course of action by how his shadow boxing punch had felt.

"Expressing too many feelings in words... it comes off like an adolescent tantrum or whatever whoever called it. It's too objective to someone else. You gotta make 'em see it as somethin' real, not somethin' to just take apart or talk about. Since at least one of 'em's a guy, that's an option! You're not in real trouble 'till you start havin' girl problems!"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al listened to Greed. If he had eyebrows or a hairline, they'd be meeting right now.

"That's your best advice? Go beat up Brother?" It seemed unlikely to Al that that would do anything other than infuriate the other boy.

"I am upset about being in this body, but it doesn't matter any more. It's only a few more months till the Promised Day. That's what's important. We have to focus on that."

He sighed, scuffing the floor with his feet as his mind jumped back to an earlier issue. "Besides... Love doesn't just mean having sex, but... would you want to be with someone who didn't have those feelings?"

[material_guy]

"He's not takin' you seriously, right? It's not like you're a violent guy, so sometimes you need to do somethin' to let people know yer not just runnin' yer mouth, to make 'em think of it like a real problem like it is for you instead of some.... hypothetical thing. Unless your relationship's really completely ruined, you can still talk with fists."

Greed considered himself more social than most, but with a relationship as ambiguous as the one he had with the Elrics, deciding how to go about handling problems that really had no value to him was difficult. He said to make it something not so hypothetical, but this was all one big thought exercise where the outcome couldn't possibly matter less to him.

Their lack of connection was made obvious by that last question.

"Oi. Didn't I just say it? I don't wanna have sex with anyone who's gonna have 'those feelings' at me. And if they got 'those feelings' at anyone else, it ain't somethin' I care about or wanna hear about."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

They definitely weren't connecting, on any level. Al could see that, especially since he was talking about sexual feelings, and Greed was talking about romantic feelings. Even if he was capable of romantic love, who would want someone who didn't have any interest in sex? Even Brother and Winry were doing it, after dancing around each other for so long. Couldn't seem to stop doing it.

So he let it go. Thinking about Greed's relationships with anyone was enough to make his non-existent stomach roil.

"I'm not going to beat up Brother. That's just stupid. We'll fight even more. I'm going to talk to the girls." He might as well -- explain to them what was happening to him, and maybe they'd be a little more understanding. He paused, then added reflectively, "You know, this is why your plans never work."

Swore I responded to this! Sorry for the delay.

[material_guy]

"You might not have to beat him up," Greed insisted, blithely missing the point. "One punch might do it."

Still, if the kid had decided he wanted to just talk it out straightly, which he was either too stupid to think of before or had failed before, Greed saw no reason to push his own unwanted advice. Hell, the kid knew his situation and targets better, maybe his own tactic was best. Not his problem. Didn't know. Didn't care. Why he didn't just go talk to the girls in the first place if that was his best idea was a mystery, but he was prepared to think nothing more of it, and to even let a reflective snipe roll off of his back, if it meant getting the uppity self righteous and increasingly useless, over sized kid off his back. If he went to talk it out, maybe they'd research a little harder, perfect their own technique! Then he'd just be an uppity self righteous oversized kid without the useless bit!

But if he was really going to let him go without a kidnapping, he considered his Nice Guy limits already being pushed. Even with the obvious drive for them to improve it on their own if left to their own devices. To come in taunting with immortality was something he would only put up with because the kid was having some end-of-times death based breakdown.

After a long, thoughtful silence, Greed waved dismissively. "My plans usually work. But, more importantly... you gonna fix the shit you broke?"

Greed would offer him the chance, at least. As an example of how well (he thought that) his plans usually worked.

No big!

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

With a fluid shrug, Al clapped his hands together and pressed them to the floor. One transmutation, two new, shiny chairs.

You'd better not try anything funny, Mr. Homonculus! He came here to complain, but he still didn't trust the other man. Uh, creature. He was ready for any move against him as he picked up his phone to call for a ride.

"Thank you for listening to me."

[material_guy]

Greed gave the chair a nudge with his foot, then shrugged, satisfied and giving yet another dismissive motion. "Next time you're gonna eat up my time, at least buy somethin'. Bar tenders don't really make their money for mixing drinks."

There didn't seem to be any intent to attack or restrain him, but perhaps he wanted him to let his brother or his ride know where he was first, to save him the trouble of trying to make yet another accidentally unlocked kidnap notification post. His ability with technology left something to be desired.

That would be a paranoid, but justified, thought.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"I can't drink," he reminded the homonculus, rolling his eyes. "You know, I can't drink and I can't have sex. Immortality or not, you'd really hate this body..."

He didn't trust Homonculi, and he never would. He and Envy were going to have fun working that out in post canon.

But for now, he sat quietly against a wall, his device in hand and his eyes open. Especially since he'd made sure his family couldn't find him....

[material_guy]

"That's why I'm saying to buy something anyway. You don't pay a bartender for the drinks, you pay 'em to listen to your ass. Didn't I just say that?"

Despite a golden opportunity at what he'd tried and threatened to do several times over, Greed seemed to have fallen into a relaxed slouch in his chair, sipping and passing the time idly with empty conversation. "Drinking's a double dull edged sword, anyway. S'a social thing... 'n if the body can't want it, m'not gonna miss the sex. I can still get what I want out of it, with or without feelin' it."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al rolled his eyes again. "Mr. Homonculus, are you asking for a tip?"

...Maybe golden. Al would kick his ass if he tried, which would put a bit of a damper on things. But the other...

"This body isn't immortal or even invincible, and you can't do any of your favorite things in it. Well, except fight. Why do you want it so much?"

[material_guy]

With yet another bland stare, as if Al had asked a supremely stupid question that wasn't worth the breath of a real answer, he fielded both hanging questions with a single response: "Who do you think I am?"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he'd realized it was a stupid question as he'd asked it.

"I know you want everything, but this body.... it's not worth it."

[material_guy]

"You can say that right now 'cause you think of it like some kinda time bomb," Greed insisted, blithely ignoring the fact that the boy had spent years trying to return to his human body before knowing a time limit or end was drawing near. After all, it was perfectly possible to hop into a body, to only have to worry about the rotting as some kind of biological break down--and metal didn't have to deal with the same biological cycle as naturally living things. It was hardly his fault they hadn't done it right. He'd SEEN it done right... why she kept choosing a flesh and blood body, he'd pretend not to know.

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"I've always said that."

Al crossed his arms. "Having your soul and body split in two... You never feel right. There's always something missing."

[material_guy]

Greed meant always wanting something else, that something was always missing. Even if he could sympathize with that sensation it was something that couldn't be compared; that gap had to be smaller than the one of his own level of greed. If Greed's answer seemed to come after a slight pause, he'd insist that it was all in Al's imagination.

"Lotsa people feel that way in their own bodies. It's called puberty or existentialism or angst or something."

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

Al slumped against the wall.

"No wonder you and Brother get along so well. It would just kill you to admit I might have a point, wouldn't it?"

[material_guy]

"Oi, oi. Didn't I let it go that maybe they're really treatin' you like shit instead of it bein' in your head? I can't think of your big Happy Family doin' that to you, but, shit, I don't get the whole family thing or whatever your relationships are anyway, and you're the one in that situation so I'll leave it to you to have a better idea what's goin' on and what to do about it. Even if you're already not handlin' it right.

You're the one not gettin' that you don't get me. You don't really get my kinda greed, 'n you don't got a reason to try to, but assumin' I don't know what I want... that's about the same as writing you off as havin' a childish tantrum, ain't it?"

[ironysoul.livejournal.com]

"Okay." Honestly, it wasn't worth it to argue with Al. What did he care if the homonculus was hellbent on pursuing this path. He stood when his ride arrived and ducked a quick bow.

"Thank you for listening to me, Mr. Homonculus."

[material_guy]

And still no tip. After taunting him with the brink of immortality, not leaving a tip would have been grounds to recycle the tin can. At the very least, Greed was certain that having his time eaten for nothing, and not kidnapping him, meant that he was freed of any obligation to return such warm words as a 'you're welcome'.