The pride was still there. The red filling Edmund's cheeks wasn't just the memories of that night. Embarrassment, awareness of his weakness around Al - or any alpha who piqued his interest, but it was the most obvious with Al - and yes, mortified pride made him run hot all over. He was above throwing himself at Al, even with these small ways. But this was his nature now, and if he didn't manifest it in private with those he trusted most, he would only make a fool of himself in a public spectacle, sooner or later. Kala had implied as much, in more subtle wording.
He touched the back of Al's hand. "I'm fine, Al. Really." Edmund exhaled, gathering his courage. "You're right. Things haven't been the same since that night. It's like - a part of me isn't complete. I've been able to control my urges, but I - I need an alpha. Sooner or later, or nature will run its course, I fear."
He seemed - if not resigned to his fate, reconciled to the practicality of it. He couldn't change who he was now, and he couldn't outrun his own nature. He peeked at Al as if afraid the alpha would begin to upbraid him on how he had failed in this too.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-07-20 08:20 pm (UTC)He touched the back of Al's hand. "I'm fine, Al. Really." Edmund exhaled, gathering his courage. "You're right. Things haven't been the same since that night. It's like - a part of me isn't complete. I've been able to control my urges, but I - I need an alpha. Sooner or later, or nature will run its course, I fear."
He seemed - if not resigned to his fate, reconciled to the practicality of it. He couldn't change who he was now, and he couldn't outrun his own nature. He peeked at Al as if afraid the alpha would begin to upbraid him on how he had failed in this too.