It was precisely because of those barriers, the ones that Al considered so vitally important, that Edmund had avoided him lately. It was too painful to want him and be denied. That pain was now a physical, tangible reality to Edmund. The struggle he had felt before seemed as light as dandelions compared with the all-consuming desire to claim and be claimed by - his alpha.
No. Not his. Because Al, for whatever incomprehensible reason that made no sense whatsoever to Edmund's nose or heart, didn't want him.
Edmund's eyes were hollow and dark as he gazed helplessly at Al, the distance increasing rather than decreasing between them. His body throbbed, a tight aching pulse that wouldn't stop radiating throughout his groin and into his limbs. He hated that he would say the same thing as Al if their situations were reversed, that he wouldn't want Al to be with him under compulsion or by necessity.
If I mated you, and we bonded...
"If you only knew what I really want," he whispered in a rasp of a voice. "You wouldn't doubt me now if you could see what's in my heart."
But there was nothing he could do; he needed so much more than what Al was willing to give him. Edmund crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against a tree for support. His legs were shaking, and he had no Al to hold onto. "Help," he repeated flatly. "What does that even mean? You'll stay with me, but you won't be with me. I don't...understand."
The more his body burned, the more energy he seemed to release into the air, all pent up from lack of outlet and the presence of an alpha, with his will and mind the only things keeping him from leaping towards Al. Edmund grunted, as a fine sheen began to cover his skin, and within he could feel his body growing slick and fever-hot. He shivered. "I'm not - supposed to be this way."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-02-09 11:18 pm (UTC)No. Not his. Because Al, for whatever incomprehensible reason that made no sense whatsoever to Edmund's nose or heart, didn't want him.
Edmund's eyes were hollow and dark as he gazed helplessly at Al, the distance increasing rather than decreasing between them. His body throbbed, a tight aching pulse that wouldn't stop radiating throughout his groin and into his limbs. He hated that he would say the same thing as Al if their situations were reversed, that he wouldn't want Al to be with him under compulsion or by necessity.
If I mated you, and we bonded...
"If you only knew what I really want," he whispered in a rasp of a voice. "You wouldn't doubt me now if you could see what's in my heart."
But there was nothing he could do; he needed so much more than what Al was willing to give him. Edmund crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against a tree for support. His legs were shaking, and he had no Al to hold onto. "Help," he repeated flatly. "What does that even mean? You'll stay with me, but you won't be with me. I don't...understand."
The more his body burned, the more energy he seemed to release into the air, all pent up from lack of outlet and the presence of an alpha, with his will and mind the only things keeping him from leaping towards Al. Edmund grunted, as a fine sheen began to cover his skin, and within he could feel his body growing slick and fever-hot. He shivered. "I'm not - supposed to be this way."